it's for you, yeah you

I was planning to broke up with my boyfriend just a couple days ago and when finally I have perfectly the right time to say it, I suddenly err.... change my mind? you can called me stupid for letting me live in this awkward life, where I in a second can be such a miserable woman with teardrops in face but in the next second I can forget all the unhappiness and become a laughing and laughing weirdo like a kid watching some clown shows.

you know what, he's not like all the pretty boys out there, with charming face, charming looks, charming clothes, charming wealth (?) he's not kind of smart guy who can always make any girl fall in love with in a sudden, OR that glamorous young man, with many expensive gadgets and full of pockets. no. actually he's not my type of guy, BUT he really touches my weaknesses side of falling in love. crazy and humorous.

it's really hard to find someone that really match your mind, it's hard to find a man full of catch which can fulfill your needs everytime. but it's harder to find someone who can really make you smile even when you don't want to. when you are on your great anger, have so many difficulties, problems, and stressful kind of life. even when you are real mad at him, you can control your emotion when he started to throw some jokes, stupid talks about himself, people around, or anything. it's like all your unhappiness things fade away.

maybe he's not a good boyfriend. really, I have to admit it (and you too, fools! :D this is for you) you are a very very bad boyfriend ever. you never listened to what I thought, you never care if there's something good or bad happened to me, you never give me such a love-support or something like that, you never buy me this and that, you never said that you love me, miss me, or even need me -_______- (this is bad, real baaaaaaaaad), you always think that it's okay not to look after me for several days (or weeks!), you are the most unromantic guy I ever met and your English is what-so-ever.

but you know what, I love you by loving all your weaknesses. by loving the things that I hate about you. eventhough youre not really smart but for me you are brlliant! eventhough youre never treat me in any romantic way, but for me you are indefenetely romantic in your own way.

do you know why I just can't say no to break up with you? because I love you? no. because I need you? no...... because I want to be with you. I want to stay longer with you. I want to be there for you when you need to share your life with. I want to make you feel better. make you better in the real words. and from now I'll love you in the simplest way, give without take. I want to be with you much longer. long enough until we don't have to love within the distance. we don't have to do this LDR thingy anymore. Amin :)

xo
Wednesday, June 08, 2011

♥